Ready.

People have been asking me if I'm ready to leave for over a month now. I guess that's a common filler in "so you're going away again" kind of conversation.

Up until now I've been saying, "Not quite yet, but I know I will be when I get on the plane."
There's a lot to that answer. Some of it is logistics, like getting packed and finding a place to stay in Uganda, and making sure I've got my vaccinations updated and such. Then there's the emotional side, the spiritual side. Am I ready to say good-bye to the niece and nephew everyone hears about from me? Am I ready to leave my community of friends who I love here in Grand Rapids? Am I feeling confirmed, at peace, equipped, prepared by God way down deep?

I haven't been ready, and I've been answering honestly when people ask me.

But I can tell you now that things have changed in the last week. Yes, I cried when my grandpa stood up out of his chair and wrapped his arms around me to give me a hug and say good-bye. He's had a lot of health issues this year and I barely see him stand anymore. But he stood up to hug me that day. And I cried and prayed that God would keep him while I was gone. I hate saying good-bye to my grandparents. And yet I know I can count on them for being some of the most dedicated people who pray for me while I'm gone. Yes, I also cried tonight when I said good-bye to my niece Laney and wondered how long her hair would be when I got back and whether she would have a little sister or a little brother by then.

But along with these good-byes, many new people have been brought into my life in this past week. The ones that stand out most clearly are the inspiring people I will be working with in Uganda. I wish I wasn't so tired right now and could describe in detail to you these people I will be working with. They are people who are dedicated to their communities and they are bringing change and hope and working towards peace everywhere they step.

I am especially looking forward to telling you more about Hope Okeny, the woman I will be working with most closely. Already, we're finding that we have mutual friends in Uganda (and it shows that we both have great taste in friends.) She carries a lot on her shoulders, she walks by faith, and she is committed to the children of Northern Uganda.

Somewhere, way down deep, God has also been reminding me of how long I have been waiting to step into this. This is not just an internship, a spot for "experience" on my resume'. It is the fulfillment of prayers prayed five years ago, an opportunity that fits me well, and it is a group of people that I will share my life with in this coming year.

I'm getting ready. I'm almost there. My bags are (sort of) packed, some good-byes have been said, and I'm dreaming of what this next year will be.

I'm almost ready.